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Diary 2003

December 12, 2003

My dearest,

I'll probably not be able to constantly update the site in the next few weeks: I'm gonna have more busy days, mixed with Christmas Holidays that will be spent in Naples.
So you're probably gonna miss me...I hope.
But let's think that this will just last for a while, and that new and more exiting updates will come.

I love you all.

Gianni

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December 5, 2003 Changes

Lately i received some great news about my professional future: from January I'll start a new job here in Hewlett Packard. I'll be working as a Sales Specialist for the Software division.
This tells nothing to you all, probably, but i can say to you that this is really great: it's something i've been wishing to do for so much long, and now it seems to become true.
I'll tell you more about it, but I'll wait for the things to be completely done...

Changes give me reasons to go on. And so lucky it comes that changes lately often come, so sweet in my ears, so calm on my skin....
And changes keep me alive...

Yes i feel so alive lately: I'm in love.

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November 25, 2003 Walking in Amsterdam (with a Mexican)

I will forever remember the time that I can't precisely remember anymore, the time in Amsterdam...spent with Dario by my side and with a Regine in my mind.
The time when I completely turned off my life and lost myself in a paradisiac state, made of the moment that exists now and does not exist anymore after...the moment spent with Dario by my side and with a Regine in my mind.

I've seen the city as I never did before. It's a wonderful city, Leidseplain in Christmas seems a postcard alive with people and music moving togheter in perfect armony, and the quiet in Rembrandt plain with trees and coulors mixed like in a paint, and the silent walking of the people and their faces...and the fresh and comfortable air of the outside and the warmt of the insides, and the guys they all seemed to complete the scenes.
I had a magic walk started in Vondelpark and ended up in Damrak....through Leisdeplain so dreamly...Oh my God I was so happy I wanted to cry because it seemed so beautiful and perfect in armony....and I remember the guys approaching girls in a van just outside the Burger King, and me Dario and Lello watching the square like in an ecxtacy state. I wanted to shout but I could understand my state of conciousness...but I would have shouted "this is perfect! This is perfect!"...Then the walk across the canals, round 6 p.m. in November Amsterdam is a wonderful presepe....i couldn't believe how magic the atmosphere was, while crossing on bridges and watching the city night lights so splendid. This means perfection I thought.
Then the arrive in Rembrantplain. Whow! I was feeling in a movie....we sat in a Coffee shop...so perfect the place with a sort of guard so impressive...we reached armony and special quiet in there.
Happyness was so close that I could touch her.

I will forever remember the time that I can't precisely remember anymore, the time in Amsterdam...spent with Dario by my side and with a Regine in my mind.

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November 24, 2003 ...

Heroes for peace! They call them heroes for peace... There must have been a misunderstanding, I think. Or I got it wrong...
But I know I got it right unfortunately.
We invade, we destroy, we occupy, we help in moving governments, we support a masquerade tiranny....and then we say we die for peace???
We die for hate, for money, for fear, for ignorance.
And no heroes could be found if not for an evil trial to get the nation touched and reunited around the guilty of those sending heroes there, a guilty they try to hide behind the stupid common sense of coutry-proudness.
We have heroes for war. Heroes for war.

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November 17, 2003 Regine

Regine, sometimes we're on a plane without control. Sometimes we're in the same dream. Sometimes we can't stand it. Sometimes we pretend to be undone. Sometimes we breathe the breath, and we get done. Sometimes i keep you in my hand. Sometimes i picture you in the blue.
And in the blue, an incredible trip.

And Regine you are. Regine you look. Regine you move.

Regine you are.

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November 12, 2003 Bell' Rosca'!!!

Rosario became a Doctor today: Degree in 'Conservazione dei Beni Culturali'.
I'm very proud of you Rosa', and feel so emotioned and moved when i look back to all those years spent together and so far away. Remember, you called me 'O' Gesuita'? You became a Gesuita too, no? Or something close...Remember we fighting and you beating me? Remember me blaming your way of treating studies and school? Remember Missione Magliana?
Rosario, do you remember?
I always kept you with me as one of the more precious persons i know, persons i have.
You are one of the signs that make me understand that my life is worth living.

This site often thought of you, from the elections to Missione Magliana....we've been close.

Auguri Rosario.
Moreover....Bell' Rosca'!!!

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November 7, 2003 ... Dormant state's over: a new musical project's on the way with Maiso...
Soon the shocking announcement.

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November 6, 2003 We come undone

I don't really know what to say. It was simply magic.
Maiso, and Matteo and Guni and Luca and Izzy (Iggy???) and Stefana and Cip and...
And Maiso Maiso Maiso
And Matteo Matteo Matteo
And Guni Guni Guni
Northen places keep me cool...

Maiso, Matteo, Guni...picture in your mind a place full of different beautiful colours...and then close your eyes...and then see that that light doesn't go away that easily: this is your house for me, this is how my memory recalls your beautiful place...every second. Every second.

Thank you

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November 5, 2003 ...

Screw me love.
Screw me deep inside my heart.
And turn me upside down.
And do it again.
And never stop.
Hold me love.
And kill me if you want.
Face pale, face white face with pale red spots like strawberries on a field of wheat. So immense.
Shake me love.
Hold me love.
And never stop.

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October 31, 2003 ...

I live in a Country where they pretend caring about a crucifix in a classroom and make such a mess about it, while wars, sex and egoism seem to be something right written in our Constitution.
I'm surrounded by people saying  they're religious, while they shape religions upon their comfortable lives...wasting things, using sex as a toy, and mostly taking part, with all the things they do daily, to this evil society.
You can be good and fair also doing all the things you'd not be allowed by a set of old fashioned rules...but don't you think that the time-changing rules are a clear demonstration that faith, spirit and your God is something coming from the ground, instead that from above?
God bless you bigots and biased!

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October 31, 2003 Theatres and characters

I went to see a show with Anita yesterday at Teatro Vittoria, her Theatre: the show, named Alcazar, was quite funny and good.

I'm moving from Rome this weekend for some job affairs, and i'm coming back on wednesday. I'm gonna meet one of the greatest characters i've ever known, and one of the best friends i ever had: Maiso

Maiso 1
Maiso 2

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October 28, 2003 Nostress

A new band is born: Nostress

Good luck Giorgio, Dario & co.

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October 27, 2003 Modern dance

Sometimes i cry because of music. When they gave me as a birthday's present 'ecstasy' by Lou Reed, I was deeply touched by 'Modern Dance', and i started crying.
Please, read the lyrics, so that you understand.

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October 27, 2003 Ben Harper live

Dario, Lello, Marianeve, Manuela were in Rome this week end also because of the concert. The time we had was good, even f i'm not really a fan of him.
I wish my brother and all my friends will one day come and live forever here in Rome...

The other things are going quite ok. It's getting cold here and the heaters are going to be turned on again. Next week i'll be in Milan to work, and as usual i'll take time to visit friends i hardly have the chance to meet.

We also played lately and it was emotioning indeed: one of the best things that could happen to you is hear people singing your words...

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October 16, 2003 'Blues' is the colour i see too often

Did i ever guess why they call it the blues? No
But at least i understood very good what it is or mean. Why I'm so weak? Why do i put myself in situations that make me feel like that? I sometimes thought that i go searching for this kinda things or i prefer standing in moods like this....addicted to thoughts? addicted to suffering?
10 years ago i wrote a song about this mood, 'cause i was already aware of the way i was done and the problems i would have been facing all my life long: innocent young child.

At least i got many things to see, tell, remember, think about...and be happy about.
I received an award from HP for a good job i made about a project regarding sales tool and things like that. I was very proud.
I bought some new furniture for my beautiful house: a desk, a little table for the living room.
Last 2 nights Marco and Domenico came to visit me and we really spent beautiful hours.
I'm planning a trip to Amsterdam with some friends.
I'm in love with my music again.
I'm writing a lot of new lyrics.

I mostly need a change. Fresh, fresh, fresh new air.

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October 8, 2003 Berlin

I'm spending nights on my sofa listening to Berlin again and again. I think i should talk about it, and i thought about writing about the songs. I'll probably do that as soon as i'll have more time. Anyway I already wrote, last year, the review below for epinions and some other sites

It happened in 1973... It happened when none expected... It happened suddenly... I must tell... It was in 1972, one year before, when TRANSFORMER (the 2nd Lou solo album) had given to the whole World a complete and clear 'glam' and liberated imagine of Lou. Liberated from the dirty sounds of the first Velvet albums, liberated from a viola gone crazy, liberated from the hammering bongos...So free, so far from a tragedy, so clear in our ears with simple tunes and sweet melodies, so direct and childish with lyrics and chords...and at the same time...so wild. And the World (and I) screamed in an orgasmic excitement: 'Rock'n'Roll has been naked!'...'Rock'n'Roll is on its top!' ... And we were true...
But then, so suddenly...BERLIN! ... A dive deep to his soul! A dive deep to our souls and consciences! Deep into my eyes! Lou Reed crashed on the Rock arena of that time revealing his real essence, the mood and the voice he'll practice all the years following and that marked forever the image of the American Poet. All the song contained in BERLIN were one thing, one piece of heart, an unique sip of mind, an unique rush of blood. A long trip between his conscience and fears, with strings, piano, guitars.....and the Lou's evocative voice in a low tone and volume expressionism mode. Without any complication, without any musical twist, with no instrumental virtuosity or originality Lou Reed dashed naked in somebody's else room, naked with no satin dress...but full, full, full of strength and love and sadness. And this was Lou Reed, and this would have been Lou Reed...delivered to an astonished World.

When you meet someone you like so much...this is TRANSFORMER.
When you fall in love...this is BERLIN!

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October 1, 2003 New Songs

Lately i was again inspired, and wrote down some new lyrics. With lately i mean a lot of time, probably...
These last mounths have really been rich with up and downs of every kind, and the situation is still going on like that. Periods like this i really can't stand, and one of the ways to escape is writing down and relax. I try to tell something...
In july i was in Germany visiting Bettina. Early in the morning, at Ciampino's Airport i wrote
"Airport"
'cause i was exactly feeling the same as i always did when i started a trip from places like that. When i was a teenager, moving to London, Paris, Amsterdam or wherever was so exiting and weird... from an Airport.
Then in Germany, ...a strange false story a friend told me in Munich, they were all mixed up in
"The English garden".
Back in my stupid and unexiting everyday's world, I've been really twisted up and upset, and sad, and bad about the impossibility to find, in my recent working and roman surroundings, someone to share something different from a motorcycle, a TV show or the latest gossip. I try to put it out with
"The society of blinds".
Before, now and across all this, my personal 'sentimental' situation and the ones of the people i love (Dario, Manu, Michele, Salvio, Marianeve, Luca...) made me grow up in a state of confusion and fear, and i think i lost my real believing in this things anymore. I put all this in:
"I want a life that doesn't scare me"

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September 29, 2003 I want a life that doesn't scare me

I did not spend a word about my birthday weekend (September 15th) . This days I'm too lazy and tired to update lapelazzuli.com seriously. Anyway, for the history....I spent that weekend havng good time with Dario, Marco, Gianfranco, Stefano, Francesca, Domenico and some others. We started in my apartment eating, drinking and smoking and then moved to Trastevere 4 a walk where we met some very interesting people.
It's good to have friends around for your birthday: it helps feeling happy and surrounded by great people.

Michele got married last Saturday and I went to his wedding. It was nice to meet all the people from the past, but things like that make me feel like in trap, and they last too long...

I wrote a new song, with a long title:
"I want a life that doesn't scare me"

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September 23, 2003 11.13.11
This song was dedicated to my mother, that i love very much.
11.13.11
Words: Gianni Lapelazzuli for Cinico Blues

The strenght and the power
the route and the joy
the smile and the presence
in the eyes of a boy
is the essence of you
on a painted image
with a faded sunbeam
that is lightening your face
Don't you think that it's me!
don't you think that it's you!
don't you think it's the time
that makes move the baloons?
On this absurd parade
we keep moving our idols
and forget the courage
of your silent miracles
I remember those days
when i first met my dreams
and my fights and my wills
with your mind in between
Don't you think that it's me!
don't you think that it's you!
don't you think it's the time
that makes move the baloons?
Don't you think that it's you!
don't you think that it's me!
if the things wouldn't change
none would still believe!

This is meaningless
I know what you say
But since it's me the guilty one we will not find a way
This is meaningless
I don't care why we break
So go and see your pretty face in front of a new place
This is meaningless
I know what you say
But since it's me the guilty one we will not find a way
'Cause I can hardly change
'Cause I can hardly fake
And I would badly taste
Again our very first angst
This is meaningless
You know what i say?
Cause since you've gone, the days before they all seem such a waste
This is meaningless
I don’t understand
why since I'm here and breath again, I feel like I pretend
I can hardly change
I can hardly change
I can hardly change
Sorry

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© Gianfranco Marino

....Who is Marco? .....Who is Marco?
.....I really can't say, actually. Use to think of him as one of the more passionable, close, understanding, lovegiving, and openminded friend i possess! And when i say openminded...i really think of him: you can always talk to Marco about everything and in the way you want to....he'll try to catch your point of view, and that's dramatically important to me. Openminded with music, openminded with all...that does not mean he agrees...but starts, always mostly, without prejudices.
In the Gianni on Trial section there's a quote dedicated to him...and that's enough to understand what Marco is.....and means.
Marco...do ya remember still the night passed at Circo Massimo? There's something unbreackble between us...since then...or maybe before!...and you were also asking how much i'm true when i describe feelings!!! Do I have to cool down those? No I won't!

Thank you Marco

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"You might have changed your mind and seen your friends..."